As I sat watching Four Christmases recently, trying valiantly not to kill myself with a hammer, I started to think about films made specifically for release at certain points in the year. And in particular, I started to wonder why so many of them are, quite frankly, crap. So what I have done in this Feature is come up with a few of the reasons why so many films like this seem to fail to satisfy.

Narrow Parameters

It seems obvious to say this, but when you make a film for release during a specific holiday or event, it naturally follows that the film will need to incorporate some elements of that holiday or event. Christmas films have to have something to do with Christmas; Halloween films have to be horror films; Valentine films have to be romances. This is an undeniable truism. And by the very nature of this logic, any film made under these circumstances will be limited in what it can do. There are different ways of doing the specifics, but fundamentally most seasonal films share the same themes, plot elements and archetypal characters. This is particularly true of Christmas films which, probably over 90% of the time, tend to be about unpleasant and miserable characters finding meaning and comfort in the spirit of Christmas, their families etc etc etc.

However, even though this may be the practical reality, the fact that seasonal films all tend to follow similar patterns doesn't automatically prevent them from being any good. How many times has Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol been made into a film; either as a direct adaptation or as an updated or altered version? I'd suggest we are looking at several dozen different films; all with the same basic starting point. There have been good ones, and there have been bad ones, but from Scrooged to A Muppet Christmas Carol we have seen how it's possible to breathe new life into even the most familiar stories. And this brings us nicely to my next point.

No Effort

Absolutely everyone in the film industry, from the biggest directors and stars to assistant gaffers and caterers, knows that if you put a seasonally relevant film in the cinema people will go and see it. I suspect a large portion of the public know this as well, though this doesn't seem to stop them going to see most of the rubbish that gets pumped out. But if this is true, you can see why film-makers don't feel the need to try. Who cares about updating familiar and tired stories with novel insights or compelling ideas when you know you can just rehash your Christmas turd from last year and the box office takings will be about the same as they'd be if you'd put the work in? It's so easy to seasonal films to make money that there is absolutely no incentive for film-makers to go the extra mile.

Of course the upshot of this is that when a good seasonal film comes out it really stands out from the rest. I was particularly impressed with 2008's Valentine's Day offering - the funny and charming Definitely, Maybe. I think this is quite possibly the best Valentine's Day release in a decade. However, few seasonal films are lucky enough to have so much effort put into them.

Time Factors

When I talk about time pressures I'm not talking about what you might think. Considering most seasonal films are based around annual holidays or events, it figures that most studios will pump one out every year. I'm not saying that only having a year to make such a film is a challenge, as most cast members are pretty interchangeable, and scripts are often stockpiled for years. I'd bet money that Saw VII and VIII are pretty much written already. However, time pressures do probably stop a lot of these films going through any sort of refinement process. There probably wouldn't be time for re-shoots, for extensive test screenings, or for other things of that ilk. The reels would be printed and shipped off to cinemas by a certain date, irrespective of quality.

There is another time related factor that ties in with the final point I will make in the next paragraph. Studios know that, by and large, these films have a very short shelf life. Nobody goes to see the Valentines Day film a fortnight after Valentine's Day; every showing on the day will be sold out, but people don't go and see it with their mates on a soggy Tuesday afternoon. So, safe in the knowledge that most people will be satisfied with a healthy dollop of seasonal cinematic mediocrity, why bother to go the extra mile for a film which will have done its job by selling out on the day?

Our Fault

I certainly think it's possible to lay some of the blame at the door of the cinema-going public. Everyone has different tastes in film, and not for a moment am I trying to be snobby about this, but why is it that we fall for the same tricks every year? Some people have terrible taste in the films by any objective standard, and not even taking my prejudices into account. But not everyone who goes to see these films is like that. It just seems to have become something of a cultural necessity to go and see these films every Christmas, Halloween or Valentine's Day. We know it's not going to be very good, but we go anyway. It's a curious phenomenon, and one which cannot really be explained. The simple way to stop studios making these films, or to make them put the effort in, is for us to stop going to see them. The real issue is whether we are actually capable of doing that.

© David Mercier
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